One of the most difficult things to do in life is to live once you’ve been told you are going to die. It’s as if life speeds up after you receive psychological result of perception learning and reasoning that your days are ticking away on a finite clock that you have no control over. One important thing that I learned while experiencing the desolating affects of Pancreatic Cancer with my mother as she fought this distressing sickness is that it is primary to focus on the time that you have rather than on the time you don’t have. To me this article is a condensed version of the Diary of Cancer Patient’s Daughter as I explain what living with Pancreatic Cancer is like from diagnosis to death as I framed the picture of my mother’s experience in my mind.
I hope and pray that you receive something out of these words birthed out of pain that will fetch you peace and support you or your loved one with a Cancer diagnosis live a little longer and happier in spite of the sad reality you are facing. There are 7 D’s in this Cancer Diary that may help you manage the physical and mental distinct features of this aweinspiring disease. Remember that what you don’t do in the Cancer Crisis is just as essential as what you do.
Entry # 1: The Diagnosis:
My mother Joyce was 66 years old when she was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer for the duration of the summer of 2008. Though all Cancer is bad, Pancreatic Cancer is considered one of the worst because it is the most difficult to diagnose. The reason is that the sensations or changes mirror digestive difficulties as the sickness hides in the depths of the digestive system. My mother had chronic pain in her stomach and altho she went to the emergency room various times receiving numerous tests and ultra sounds the doctors held telling her not one thing was faulty with her and sent her home each time. Initially they thought it was a problem with her gal bladder which is a mutual misdiagnoses in the case of Pancreatic Cancer.
Her Father Boyce whom she was named after passed from physical life of Pancreatic Cancer 20 years earlier, but the prospect that she could have that very same thing never occurred to her or any individual else in our family. If Cancer runs in your family, in particular Pancreatic Cancer, I would advise you to have regular screenings for this impairment of normal physiological function as early diagnosis is a key to survival. One of the most deadly things regarding Pancreatic Cancer is that because it is so hard to diagnose most people who are in need of medical care don’t receive their diagnosis until they are already in Stage 4 of the Cancer when there is practically no hope.
The sensations or changes of Pancreatic Cancer include: abdominal pain and pressure, jaundice, nausea, loss of appetite, depression, weight loss and weakness. My mother had all sypmtoms except for jaundice. Just because a person is missing a mutual symptom doesn’t mean they don’t have Pancreatic Cancer. The most mutual procedures employed to diagnosis this brutal impairment of normal physiological function are: Ultrasonography, CT Scanning, Endoscopic Retrograde Cholangiopancretography, Endoscopic Ultrasound, MRI, and Cholangiogram Percutaneous Transhepatic. I’m gorgeous sure my mother had all of these tests done and it may be very draining to endure such experiences, nevertheless it is critical in obtaining a diagnosis. The results of her diagnosis showed that there was a tumor on her pancreas blocking the flow of bile from her liver, as well as, the flow of enzymes from her pancreas. In her case the tumor was wrapped around a blood vessel and surgery to remove the tumor was not in truth an option. Very few surgeons in the country would have been capable to with great success carry out the surgery and her chances of survival would have been slim to none. Even if she had of had the surgery her quality of life following it was questionable. This surgery is normally known as the Whipple Operation and removes a huge share of the pancreas, the duodenum and a share of the bile duct
What do you do in this situation? You make the choice to live the best life in the time that you have which is undetermined and dissimilar for everyone. Suck each drop of joy out of life you may as quickly as possible. If we could turn back the clock and do it all over again the one thing we would do differently is have annual screenings for the impairment of normal physiological function conducted because had we done that my mother might still be alive today. What you do in time may determine the time you have on this earth.
Many persons concede the hands of time to cover their eyes to what they don’t want to see. Open your eyes today and if you have not been diagnosed with this impairment of normal physiological function start out to use preventative measures such as a healthful diet, exercise, and regular checkups with your doctor.
Entry # 2: Denial:
We were in such disbelief after receiving the diagnosis we failed to take prompt action locked in the paralysis of our new found reality. One thing Cancer does not give you is time. That huge devil called denial will have to be dealt with. I may still listen my mother saying, “I can’t have this…not me!” You will have to come to grips with what you have in order to get a grip on the situation. Sometimes I think of Cancer being more of an accident of health rather than a fault of nature. All you may do with a fault is wish that it never happened but accidents may be prevented. Maybe this is a little optimistic since Cancer have a tendancy to creep in like an unexpected thief to steal your most prized possessions. Even so, the optimisti feeling that all is going to turn out well is always more inviolable than pessimism and it merely means that our powerful spirits encased in a fragile frame of flesh chooses to live.
Even people with impairment of normal physiological functions such as drug addiction and alcoholism must come out of denial before they recover. I know Cancer survivors and they are the same people that came out of denial and dealt with the disease. You will never take action in regards to something you don’t believe.
Entry # 3: Drugs:
We live in a pill popping nation where there is a drug for each situation. One of the main difficulties with drugs is that they mask sensations or changes but fail to provide a cure. Drugs do their best to cover up the Cancer until the victim is covered with world in a coffin. I keep hearing rumors that there is a heal for Cancer but the medical and funeral industries are making too much cash off of the sickness to release the cure. I don’t recognise if that is unfeigned but it sure makes sense.
Though drugs were diagnosed to help my mother one of the firstborn things we did which is exceedingly primary for Pancreatic Cancer persons who requires medical care was to have a stint put in. Stints were inserted into the tubes leading from her liver and pancreas to aid them function and this helped her to live a better life. In galore cases, depending on the size of the tumor, it is very difficult to insert stints but there are various substitute methods and procedures to accomplish the same effect. If you have a good doctor he will inform you of all options. If you have a doctor that doesn’t tell you all the options; get another doctor.
My experience with a mother with Pancreatic Cancer perfected a hatred in me for Morphine which is the pain medication my mother was put on. Since the pain caused by the Cancer is so intense our choices were fixed and we wanted my mother to be competent to live out her days as pain free as possible as I think any individual would. The Morphine modified her mind, changed her personality, and caused aggression and paranoia. The effects of the Morphine put the family in pain while relieving my mother’s pain.
At times it was as if she was out of her mind and it closely drove us out of ours. She no longer trusted the humans that loved her and some times would forget what she was saying in the middle of a sentence. The family told her some things over and over again and she wouldn’t do them and always forgot what we told her. To me Morphine kills a person before they die. It kills their capacity to convey the essence of who they veritably are. There are number of things from which only one can be chosen for pain relief drugs but I don’t recognise how much better they are since we only dealt with Morphine.
It amazes me how Patrick Swayze filmed a television series with Pancreatic Cancer refusing to take pain medications so he could concentrate on and accomplish his work. I do not forget hearing him speak regarding preparing hours in advance of his shoots to be mentally and physically prepared to accomplish each task in pain. I think drugs such as Morphine make a person die more immediate because it arrests their mind. In the movie the Matrix if you’ve ever seen it, Neo is doing the jump program with Morpheus and falls. When he comes out of it he is bleeding and makes a statement to the fact that he thought it wasn’t real and Morpheus tells him that the mind makes it real and that the body cannot live without the mind. If you are mentally incapacitated, how may you make a conscious decision to fight for your life?
A glimmer of hope came to us while dealing with the madness of the Morphine which is an substitute pain treatment that Cancer people who are in need of medical care may receive that deals with injecting alcohol around sure nerves to block the sensations of pain. My mother had this routine done but said that it didn’t work. To this day I don’t recognise if the treatment genuinely didn’t work or if by the time she had it she was
already addicted to the Morphine and the pain she felt were the pangs of withdraw.
Unfortunately Morphine was only one wave in the ocean of drugs we had to deal with. There were digestive enzymes that had to be taken prior to eating, beta blockers, heart medication, anxiety medication, insulin for the diabetes caused by the shut down of the pancreas, medication for indigestion, vitamins, blood thinners for blood clots and so numerous medications we had to make an Excel spreadsheet just to keep track of them.
One of the effects of the sickness that had to be dealt with was uttermost swelling of the abdomen and feet to the point where diuretics were prescribed, liquid draw procedures had to be performed by using a needle to draw the liquid from the abdomen and as for the feet; only house shoes could be worn. I found out that the swelling was caused by the Cancer primarily due to the body’s reaction to the tumor and to the lack of protein in the blood disabling the bloods capacity to hold fluid.
The things that a person goes through with Cancer are almost endless. Every portion of the body is affected; particularly the mind, the will, and the emotions. Based upon the experience I came upon with my mother a couple of other crises we had to press through was the C Diph infection causing chronic diarrhea causing contact isolation that is closely like quarantine to be implemented. My mother could hardly eat and we had to put on hospital gowns and gloves to be in the room with her or even come in contact with her.
An episode we faced with internal bleeding caused by the rupturing of blood vessels was very traumatic and hospitalized my mother after she passed out from weakness with her eyes rolling back in her head due to the uttermost blood loss. Blood was in her bowels and blood transfusions had to be issued in order to get her blood count back up to normal which is commonly 14 and hers was closely half that. Had we not sought medical attention for her at that time she could have died. So that you may recognize this, the sensations or changes are ordinarily extreme weakness and black loose bowels. I experienced the same thing when I was four years old and diagnosed with acute hemorrhagic pancreatitis.
We tried chemotherapy which is exceedingly hard on the body, killing the good cells along with the bad. Chemotherapy is like infusing your body with a poison in order to get rid of another poison. For galore persons it works but sadly to say in the cases of Pancreatic Cancer it is seldom effective. I am not a doctor and consequently give no medical recommendations as to how to treat Cancer of the Pancreas but in my own personal opinion and experience through observation I would say if possible, find a better way.
There are substitute treatments, natural remedies, and experimental treatments. A Cancer patient may seek studies that are being conducted for the type of Cancer they have and in a heap of cases when they become a part of the study they may receive free or very low cost experimental treatments. One day one of these experimental treatments might be the answer. My mother employed an experimental chemotherapy that was available but it was too hard on her heart. One of her littler tumors did decrease rapidly but that wasn’t sufficient to save her.
Chemotherapy may carry such side effects as nausea, vomiting, and decreased white blood cell counts. Historically, Chemotherapy has not been effective in the treatment of Pancreatic Cancer, but there are more up to date treatments that use an FDA approved agent called gemcitabine which has helped to shrink a heap of tumors for Carcinoma of the pancreas.
At one point we went to see a naturalpathic doctor specializing in substitute Cancer treatments that knew of a treatment that had proved to be effective for Pancreatic Cancer. The name of the treatment is Intravenous – Lipoic Acid/Low-Dose Naltrexone Protocol. There are respective articles and selective information on this treatment for you to exploration and intelligently consider.
Our problem with the treatment was that one of the drugs prescribed for it that could only be filled at a compound pharmacy blocks the affects of opiates and since my mother was on Morphine for pain a known opiate she plunged into a chronic pain episode that caused her to lose coherency from the pain and go to the emergency room where the only thing they could do to relieve her pain was to give her a drug strong sufficient to sedate her and exclusively knock her out. It was a vast setback in her treatment. The opiate blocking drug was supposed to be a very low dosage that ought to not have negatively affected her so if this queer treatment is chosen I would do spacious exploration and make ample preparations before attempting it.
When you are personally dealing with Cancer or know someone close to you that is, you will find out speedily that everyone has a product to trade you that they assert has cured an individual from Cancer. Maybe they have and perchance they haven’t. Again, I do not forget observing an consultation with Barbara Walters and Patrick Swayze when he said something to the effect of, “If you had a miracle heal for Cancer you would be rich and every one would recognise you so just shut up.” We tried various productions and ordered everything we thought could make a divergence or be a cure. I’m going to percentage with you two things that you may buy on your own that we didn’t get a probability to try because we found out in regards to them too late. I don’t recognise it they work, but it is worth a undertake as anything is when you or an individual you love is dying.
You may search YouTube and find videos on the banking soda Cancer treatment and you may search the Internet to find articles that quintessentially talk about the use of asparagus to treat Cancer. There is so much more I could say when it comes to dissimilar treatments and drugs but rather of going on and on regarding this subject I will rather give you a few helpful hints.
Helpful Hint #1: If you are strong sufficient to do it, aerobic exercise helps Chemotherapy persons who requires medical care by ridding the toxins in their system from Chemotherapy through sweat. I read an article once with regards to a lady with Cancer that felt too sick to do aerobics when her coworkers held inviting her to class because they didn’t know she had Cancer. She started the classes in the end and felt sick at primary and then started sentiment better. She sweated the toxins out and one year later was instructing the class Cancer Free.
Helpful Hint #2: When a Cancer patient’s veins are to the point where it is exceedingly difficult to draw blood or administer IV medication a Central Line which is a port for IV and medication inserted into the jugular vein by ultrasound may be good. I witnessed the pain of my mother as she was poked multiple times with attempts to draw blood and insert IV’s. Save yourself this pain with a Central Line.
Helpful Hint #3: Keep a positive attitude and laugh as many times as possible. The Bible says that laughter doeth the heart good like a medicine. Sometimes simple laughter will do more for a Cancer patient than any drug. Laughter heals and it makes a person’s time on this world more enjoyable. Talk when it comes to funny memories from the past with family and friends and laugh, laugh, laugh! You is worthy of it! Mental support is important. Encourage, speak positive things, and most of all be there for the person that you know that has Cancer. Cancer and all the things a person goes through with it are scary. I coached my mom and encouraged her and told her she could make it when she didn’t think she could. Encouragement in love may add time to a Cancer patient’s life. Ask a large total of questions and gain as much noesis as possible. If a drug or treatment you or a Cancer patient you recognise is on doesn’t seem right; talk to the doctor regarding it because there is always an alternative.
Entry # 4: Disappointment:
Normally in life there are disappointments. When you already have a disappointing disease, disappointment may be magnified. What do you do when the Chemo doesn’t work? How do you react when the miracle heal you found out in regards to doesn’t cure? How do you deal with setbacks that surface along the way? What you do is keep going, keep trying, and don’t give up. It is indispensable to express disappointment and know it as long as it doesn’t take you captive. Just having the disease is disappointing, not to mention all of the obstacles encountered while dealing with the disease. Disappointment is not only experienced by the Cancer victim but by the family and friends that love that person so much.
I was working on my MBA when my mother was diagnosed with Cancer. Since she was already in Stage 4 of Cancer when she was diagnosed we found out shortly after the diagnosis that the Cancer had disseminate to her lungs and other areas of her body. I may do not forget the day I found out regarding that. I started crying at work and couldn’t stop and had to leave the office. I know what it feels like to undertake and hold tears in and there is not one thing you may do to keep them held in your eyes. I know what it is to cry until your stomach jerks in and out and snot comes out of your nose and you feel like throwing up. My mother was my best friend and because of that I am well acquainted with disappointment.
I always wondered how the humans with these miracle stories that publish these books when it comes to overcoming Cancer did it. Their methods worked for them with no doubt but my mother was in such a bad state she couldn’t even do most of the things these books said to do and that was so disappointing. I wished I could speak with these people personally just to ask them…HOW? How did you do it?
One of the greatest challenges faced was that my mother was a Minister and Pastor and she had a lot of humans praying for her as she even believed for her own healing. Father Yah (God) is a healer but He doesn’t always heal and there is always a question of why for those that are not healed. Dottie Olsteen the wife of the late Pastor John Olsteen of Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas now pastured by Joel Olsteen at one time had terminal Liver Cancer. Dottie collected together the healing scriptures from the Bible and started out to speak them over herself three times a day like a medicine prescription and was completely and altogether healed.
Why her and not my mother? I don’t know. Maybe Yah (the name for almighty God the Creator in Hebrew) was ready for my mom to come home with Him. All I may tell you is that disappoint may and will come in numerous forms. The best heal for disappointment is to get over with an attitude of thankfulness, accepting that you don’t recognise the reason for all things but you do recognise that there is a reason and a aim for all things. Stay positive while keeping your mind and spirit open to whatsoever might happen. Disappointment comes when something other than what you suppose or expect happens. With Cancer you have to be prepared for the success or failure of anything and everything. Be encouraged; you are more inviolable than disappointment. Don’t let it catch you off guard but be prepared for it. Know that for each disappointment there is a triumph on the other side.
Entry # 5: Diet:
Anyone with Cancer must reconstruct their diet to incorporate the foods that fight versus and may even heal Cancer. Eat and drink substances that are non-acidic, alkaline, and highly concentrated with antioxidants. Research to find Cancer healing foods.
One of the most crucial things to do is to drink a lot of water. Water is the source of life and the humane body is largely composed of water. There is an author that wrote a book called, “You Aren’t Sick You’re Just Thirsty” talking when it comes to the importance of water and it is affects on the body.
Diet is a rough subject with Pancreatic Cancer because you may recognise all the right things to eat and not be capable to consume them. The affects of the sickness on the digestive scheme makes it very hard to eat and drink. The patient may lose their appetite and even if they do have an appetite, once they eat it may make them feel sick. Pancreatic Cancer sabotages the digestive system.
One thing that helped us was a great deal of info we found on dill pickles that helps in the digestion of food. In a good deal of instances when someone with Pancreatic Cancer or other digestive difficultnesses eats a dill pickle with each meal it helps to counteract the digestive difficultnesses so they may eat in ease and keep the feed down for nutrition to the body.
There are likewise drugs available to heighten the appetite, but if dill pickles may likewise be eaten with each meal that will have to aid mainly as well. Since Pancreatic Cancer persons who requires medical care have difficultnesses in eating and tend to lose a lot of weight, dietary supplements such as protein shakes are suggested which are ingested having little impact with the use of a straw. Peanut butter may be added to the shakes to increase the calorie content and nutritional value of the shake. Another suggestion is to eat very little meals all all around the day. The Cancer patient may not feel like eating but in order to live they must FORCE themselves to eat. Lack of feed and liquid may kill quicker.
Vitamin D fights Cancer and freshly juiced vegetable juices containing the juice from green leafy vegetables may be exceedingly helpful in particular when drank right after juicing when vitamin content and living substance is at a high level. The external diet is likewise essential which comprises of Epson salt baths that aid to heal and release toxins from the body.
We all know the saying, “You are what you eat.” Eat what is alive and it will help you stay alive. The basi 3 letters of the word diet is the word die. Don’t let what you are eating kill you. Since Cancer people who are in need of medical care some times have to give up foods they love in order to live, it is outstanding if the family may conform to their diet in support of their dietary efforts. Some foods make Cancer grow like simple sugars. Cut the sugar out of your diet and use a natural substitute like Stevia to sweeten foods. Stevia is a naturally sweet leaf that is available in powder and liquid form to sweeten foods and use in recipes. I am a huge Bible reader so I love that Stevia is a leaf because the Bible says that the leaves shall be employed for the healing of the nations. Other well-known artificial sweeteners may in truth be venomous to the body so be careful with them and keep out of the way of them if possible.
Entry #6: Death:
Even when you know someone is going to die, not one thing in truth prepares you for the affects, effects, and real life reactions to that death. Everyone’s experience is different, and I will part my personal experience with you hoping it will help you in numerous way. I may do not forget my mom looking at me one night and saying to me, “I’m dying!” I didn’t recognise what to say back because even altho I knew she had Cancer and death seemed inevitable, I refused to receive the fact the she was genuinely going to die.
We took her to the hospital on a Thursday and the very next day they wanted to send her to hospice. Hospice is a outstanding and aweinspiring place all at the same time. Great due to the care and help and painless exit for the patient from this world they provide. Awful because you know that it is the last place you will be with the one you love. Hospice facilities are very comfortable and they give you a probability to say goodbye even if you don’t want to. No one does. Please know that you aren’t the only one going through this; neither are you the only one that has ever gone through this.
Counselors are provided, as well as, chaplains for spiritual aid and prayer. You will receive a booklet explaining the death routine which helps you know when death is near. During this process, give the Cancer patient a lot of love, ease and support, and make sure you yourself get ample feed and rest. Speak to your loved one while they are responsive and even after they are in a drug induced comma because they may still listen you. Be sure not to be selfish and release them to pass on so they won’t linger on in suffering. That is all I will say in regards to the hospice experience as you will learn more as you are in truth in it. This is the time to meet with the funeral home and make preparations for the funeral and burial. You won’t want to do this, but it is necessary and will aid smooth out the process. Overall, hospice is a place to say your final goodbyes.
Entry # 7: Debt:
My dad only had sufficient life insurance to cover my mom’s funeral, and this is not recommended. The moment a Cancer diagnosis is in place get as much checkup free insurance as you may get. For a good deal of reason the bill accumulators don’t understand the word death, and you may be stuck with bills that increase your sorrow after your loved one is gone. You will need a living will for your patient to be capable to make medical conclusions for them and you also need a power of attorney to deal with their accounts way before a death experience is upon you. You may have to handle business matters that they can’t deal with while they are still alive and after they have passed on.Also make sure a will is in place so you don’t have to deal with probate. Some accounts are without apparent effort closed after death plainly by submitting a copy of the death certificate to the creditor and it is primary to see if insurance is in place to pay off accounts upon death such as mortgages.
I have shared my heart, soul, and intimate personal experience with you in this article to the best of my ability. It ought to not take a crisis such as Cancer for us to become mortgage and debt free but if something such as Cancer arises I recognise that being mortgage and debt free may be one less worry. Work to reduce or delete your debts as much as possible. My dad would have more freedom and choices today had his house been remunerated off when my mother passed. In addition to medical bills there were a lot of prescriptions that cost $800 for a 10-day supply after our prescription gains ran out. Death and disease recognise not one thing of the extra financial burdens that may increase and extend sorrow.
You will feel the pain of your loss for awhile and it will be utterly unbelievable for a very long time, but you will get through it. Remember the good times, look at pictures of life, and listen the voice of your loved one live on in your mind and spirit forever. I wish you ample peace. If you would like to find out how to get a copy of the book I’ve written in hopes of helping persons deal with the loss of a loved one, please call or email me.